#MyLifeAsAHuman - Entry #200 - The Journey

#MyLifeAsAHuman - Entry #200 - The Journey - Love:Lust:Lost

I remember there was a time when all I did was search for Love.
I craved it like a fiend for coffee,
A Saint for religion.

I pleaded,
I prodded,
I injected,
I smoked...

And still Love did not come to me.

There were resembles, counterfeits,
Intruders and clowns....

And still Love evaded me.

I bargained,
I settled,
... I may have even given away parts of my soul.

And Love? Love looked at me and laughed at my desperation.

Finally I found 'love' ... (I thought) ...dressed more ruggedly than anticipated.
Lines expelled were fluent in seduction.

'love' made me heated, bothered and moist.

Then Love walked by and shook it's head in knowing...

I had not found Love. But rather I had found its cousin,
Wrapped up in faux packaging and magic words...

Making me cum with want,
And liquid with desire.

Lust grabbed me and flung me and made me it's bitch.

Humping me into a frenzy of wetness and haze...

And then Lust emptied me...

Leaving me dry and crumpled.

Emotionally raped and psychologically rejected.

I. Was. Nothing.

A. Shell.

A vessel blatantly discarded...

And then Love embraced me... Slowly.

And with time.

Cradled me with tenacity,
And bosomed me with wisdom.

Love told my tears to leave...
And my bravery to come forth.

And then slowly,
Deliberately,
Patiently....

Love... Love brought me home...

- Y. Salmon

"The journey of self discovery can only be genuinely accomplished with the discovery of self love..."

*Original image courtesy of the oh-so-talented @rastaxxpasta. Instagram him!

Comments

Life's Love Day.

So, come the eve of Valentine's day, I'll be pulling an over-nighter at work and with any luck I'll be dragging myself into bed by 10am Valentine's morning. Either way I'll be alone. Curled up in my blankets, completely unaware of the passing events of the actual day itself. Which is why I'm making this blog today. Needless to say, I initially dreaded the upcoming 'day of love' and all the connotations that come with it. I found myself viewing the day with uncharacteristically severe cynicism and disdain. And leaning towards the belief that Valentine's day was just a day for chocolate and card companies to take advantage of all the 'happy hearts' out there and at the same time make the members of the lonely hearts' club feel like absolute crap. But the real truth of the matter was this. I was just feeling bummed myself...as I knew that I was a member of the lonely hearts' club this year. And it sucked. I was all too aware of the fact ...

#MyLifeAsAHuman - Entry# 984 - My Symphony

I'm sitting here gazing out into a world of possibility and purpose and I chide myself for being a coward sometimes. I get mad at myself for doubting as much as I do, for hesitating and finding excuses. I look back and remember when I was a fearless dreamer, blatant in my belief, obnoxious in my certainty.... And I wonder.... Where did she go? Where did that girl go? Was she killed off by cynicism? Knocked down by reality.... Captured by adulthood? Defeated by life?... I shake my head, for it is better than hanging it in shame. I steady myself for the mourning of my past self.... And I think... Am I but a shell of my former self? Void of truth and inspiration? Am I so empty a vessel that my noise is nothing but a deafening yet unnoticeable silence?... These are my fears that nip at my confidence, that drown my rising strength. These are the fears I hold on to, to feed my pity party and excuse myself from wanting... From dreaming... From doing. These are ...

My Apology, My Thoughts

For a while now, I have been trying to do the grown up thing. Work the 9 to 5. Pay the bills on time. Plan a future and become what's expected.... As a result I became a bit disillusioned. I felt that dreams were just that, 'dreams' . I felt, for some reason, that l should lock away that part of myself that was not considered practical. The dreamer. And I did. ...... It's been almost a year and I have felt the impact of that decision. The emptiness that is as a result of suffocating that part of myself that is most definitive. And to my dreams I apologize. To the dreamer I admit that I was wrong. To all the stories that have been swimming around in my head, and in my soul, in my heart... I beg your forgiveness for my arrogance and laziness. Know that I was the fool that lost out. I was the one that quit on you. And I humbly and piously present myself to you. I am the prodigal son that has returned to the welcoming arms of my black sheep reality. Filled with dreams, a...

Yan's Labyrinth

Search This Blog