Yan's Labyrinth

Lesson #1. Put no one on a pedestal... Not even yourself. We are all fragile entities called humans and one day we will fuck up. Lesson #2. You will get your heart broken. And if you don't then you need to. The heart needs to know loss and disappointment in order to heal and strengthen itself. Most importantly, it needs to prepare itself for the one who deserves you most. Lesson #3. Your fears are little gifts wrapped up in scary packaging. They are there to teach us that we are capable of truly doing anything. Lesson #4. Stress is a killer. Whatever you do, don't let it get to you. Scream, laugh, cry, talk about it or dance! But whatever you do... Don't stress about it. Lesson #5 If you're not enjoying sex.... Then you're not doing right. Lesson #6. Laugh as much as possible. And then laugh some more. Lesson #7. Dance. Who cares if you have no rhythm... Just dance dammit. Lesson #8. Allow music to move you. Allow it to enter your core and sway you...

I wish sometimes I could peel away my scars like scabs. Or shed them like old skin... Watch them fall away and evaporate into dust, Leaving no traces of their prior existence. I wish my scars weren't so deeply embedded, That they would stop choosing when to appear 'healed' and when to resurface... Causing more damage, than good. Bringing it's past injuries and burdens and slights into the present,  Tainting the beauty and possibilities of a present situation. I wish I were constantly able to wear the strength of my scars... Because despite how much they haunt us, They have such resilience and longevity... Bravado... .... And guts... Constantly reminding us that they aren't going anywhere. Constantly showing us that they, these scars are apart of us.... Apart of our package, Apart of our spirit, Our demeanour... Our past, present and future... And that ultimately, if we have any intentions of Truly living, Truly loving, Truly 'Be'-ing... ...

Heh. My apology to my journal.... Sigh. So much has happened in a short period of time. So much of it good, some not so good. But at the end of the day, I remind myself that I am blessed with so much. And I am grateful. Take the time to reflect on what makes your life meaningful. Makes your life an inspiring journey. Your journey. And build from that. Always build, because your life is worth at least that. Dear Journal.... I haven't touched you in awhile. I've been neglectful.... And I am sorry... Caught up in my own B.S.... No, My own world.. Forgetting the importance of you. So how have you been? How has life been treating you? Tell me all about it, I'm at your full disposal. Let me massage your ridges... Smooth your pages... Familiarize myself with your former content. Let me take the time to caress your memories and divulge new secrets. I'm sorry I've been away for awhile, But, honestly, I've been good... I haven't forgotten...

You bare scars, because you have been broken. They form ridges and curves and lines upon your soul... Your heart... And your mind. Creating a disfigured masterpiece so unique and individual, that its beauty is almost blinding... Captivating in its pain, Mesmerizing in it s resilience. You are beauty, because you bare scars, Fitted and molded to your creation... Imperfections and tear stains collide in gracious harmony...   So tranquil and serene, you could, just possibly, go deaf... You are life... as you possess bravery so reckless and demanding that it is enviable. You grab at these challenges as if they are gifts and embrace them within your very being as if to attempt to make them physically apart of you... Like a limb, made of mistakes or a child bore of defiance. You are love, ... Because you are in existence. So pure and rare. That at times I feel my heart may stop from being in your mere presence. So radiant and unfamiliar, in all of it's comfort......