Yan's Labyrinth

I feel a change coming... In what form, I'm not sure. The streets look different, my path more vivid...Intense. I feel a change coming... So real and sure that it shakes my bones.... I feel a change coming... All the way to my core... And I wait. Anxiously. - Y.Salmon

There is a place, I imagine, where reality is rivaled by the brilliance of imagination. Where birth is given to whimsy & fairytales that unravel in beautiful splendour... I imagine there is such a place, as I have lived there for so long.... -Y. Salmon

I wish sometimes I could peel away my scars like scabs. Or shed them like old skin... Watch them fall away and evaporate into dust, Leaving no traces of their prior existence. I wish my scars weren't so deeply embedded, That they would stop choosing when to appear 'healed' and when to resurface... Causing more damage, than good. Bringing it's past injuries and burdens and slights into the present,  Tainting the beauty and possibilities of a present situation. I wish I were constantly able to wear the strength of my scars... Because despite how much they haunt us, They have such resilience and longevity... Bravado... .... And guts... Constantly reminding us that they aren't going anywhere. Constantly showing us that they, these scars are apart of us.... Apart of our package, Apart of our spirit, Our demeanour... Our past, present and future... And that ultimately, if we have any intentions of Truly living, Truly loving, Truly 'Be'-ing... ...

There is this sense of dread that comes with happiness sometimes that I will never truly understand. I suspect it's there to keep you grounded. Rooted in reality... Emphasize the validity of these pockets... Periods of happiness. It creates a much needed balance that demands attention... Keeps you aware. Maybe this feeling... 'Dread', Is really just emotional gravity, pulling us closer to the ground... So that we don't float away into oblivion. Perhaps it's really just a combination of feelings and logic trying to save us from ourselves... Trying to make us a better version of ourselves.... -Y. Salmon *Image courtesy of Instagram

It's a new year and my aspirations are different. My wants have changed and my needs are more prominent. I find myself travelling in my mind in a way I never did before. I'm searching and this time I know what I am looking for. My fears are no longer the same and my dreams are yearning, yelling, revolting.... To become a reality. My patience has dwindled and has made me more determined, more focused, more certain. I have no desire to be mediocre anymore. I have no excuses left to tell myself. Instead I have reality. I have realization. I have drive. So as I am standing here, at my bus terminal, waiting to board the vehicle that will take me to my destination of circumstance. My 9 to 5... I ready myself for my inevitable journey of accomplishment. Knowing I must travel this road in faith and determination. Confidence and strength. Knowing self belief is most essential... I ready myself. For my voyage, to fly. -Y. Salmon *Image courtesy of @purposeofenvy via instag...

Heh. My apology to my journal.... Sigh. So much has happened in a short period of time. So much of it good, some not so good. But at the end of the day, I remind myself that I am blessed with so much. And I am grateful. Take the time to reflect on what makes your life meaningful. Makes your life an inspiring journey. Your journey. And build from that. Always build, because your life is worth at least that. Dear Journal.... I haven't touched you in awhile. I've been neglectful.... And I am sorry... Caught up in my own B.S.... No, My own world.. Forgetting the importance of you. So how have you been? How has life been treating you? Tell me all about it, I'm at your full disposal. Let me massage your ridges... Smooth your pages... Familiarize myself with your former content. Let me take the time to caress your memories and divulge new secrets. I'm sorry I've been away for awhile, But, honestly, I've been good... I haven't forgotten...