#MyLifeAsAHuman - Entry 680

#MyLifeAsAHuman - Entry 680 - The Filler

It was a rough day today... We had words... And then none.

My heart... My self doubt... Knowing that you... Can and will say...
Knowing that you can close your eyes and watch me walk away.

You're surrounded by beauty amidst the pain....
And I know they can take away my memory in the blink of an eye...

You bury your nostrils in their skin, between their thighs.... You can kiss them and touch them and make their chest rise.... Heave with heavy breathing... Exhausted from cumming....

She has eyes like the dessert, skin supple and soft, a body that sways as if to command the wind...

And then there is me, on my best day I can only hope to not get struck down by the whispers of my inner hauntings... And then I am trapped... Reduced... Dismissed.

You can make her smile from the curve of her lashes to the core of her womanhood and she relishes it.... For she is what is beautiful to you...

And I sit here and wait, for her to give in..
And I sit and wait for you to say, I don't love you anymore... Not like this... Not like her.

And I wait for you to walk away without looking back.
Because finally beauty has found her destiny... And you are it...

And I watch stupefied by my pain and hurt and ridicule... Because that's all that's left to do.

-Y. Salmon

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Alex Dang - "Times I've Been Mistaken for a Girl" (NPS 2013)

#MyLifeAsAHuman - Entry#1 - The Id.

Hello there. How are you? Let me tell you a little about myself. I have an unmatched appreciation for laughter. An immense craving for intellect. A desire for self discovery. A penchant for the unknown. The curiosity of a kitten. A hunger for creativity... I've never been lucky in love, nor have I been unlucky. I have just been in it. Love. Every moment, every act, every verse... I've fallen so many times and gotten back up inspite of it. I think too much yet I am gravely impulsive. My deepest thoughts are spoken with my eyes. And my laughter is my heart. I feel... I feel with my soul. And I live through my mind. I am spontaneous, unusual and... me. I am whimsy and stories and art. I am sad songs and abrasive humour. I am honesty. I am pain. I am doubt and contradiction. I am strength and rejuvenation. Belief and fight. I am many things... most of them indescribable. Put simply, I am human... Every day. Just human. -Y. Salmon

Life's Love Day.

So, come the eve of Valentine's day, I'll be pulling an over-nighter at work and with any luck I'll be dragging myself into bed by 10am Valentine's morning. Either way I'll be alone. Curled up in my blankets, completely unaware of the passing events of the actual day itself. Which is why I'm making this blog today. Needless to say, I initially dreaded the upcoming 'day of love' and all the connotations that come with it. I found myself viewing the day with uncharacteristically severe cynicism and disdain. And leaning towards the belief that Valentine's day was just a day for chocolate and card companies to take advantage of all the 'happy hearts' out there and at the same time make the members of the lonely hearts' club feel like absolute crap. But the real truth of the matter was this. I was just feeling bummed myself...as I knew that I was a member of the lonely hearts' club this year. And it sucked. I was all too aware of the fact ...

Yan's Labyrinth

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